Tomorrow (Saturday), husband and I leave for Houston for my quarterly visit to M.D. Anderson Cancer Hospital. Sunday afternoon will be the CT scan, early Monday morning a bone scan, then two doctor appointments following that.
I’m more nervous than usual this time. This was the trial period for this particular chemo, which had been very effective when I had it before. But because of severe side effects, I’ve missed two of the six treatments. I’m not sure what effect that has on determining if the drugs are working. And if they are, I most certainly would have to have a much-reduced dosage to continue on this regimen. My main reaction is severe mucositis, and there is no way I can go through what I had to experience the last round – a liquid diet for at least a week and even that with a lot of discomfort. And of course, reduced dosage means reduced effectiveness.
So, that leaves us with either the newest drug on the market for colon cancer – the name of which I don’t remember – or moving into clinical trials where I become a guinea pig for an as yet unapproved chemotherapy. Based on earlier discussions, I also suspect that there may not be total agreement between my local oncologist and the MDA onc on the best route to take.
I worry that this increased pain is from the cancer. I’ve tried all kinds of other explanations – some of which, I think, may have some validity: a joint problem from 40 years ago, knotted muscles, flat feet, stress. But I haven’t wanted to admit that maybe some, most, or all of it is due to cancer. The scans should show if and how much the cancer has spread, if that’s an explanation for the pain.
And, to add insult to injury, this couple of days requires lots of walking (the M.D. Anderson facility is like a small city), which I’m not sure I’m up for, given the continuous pain I’ve had lately in my right hip and lower back. Wheelchair, then? The idea is very repugnant to me.
So that’s why I’m in such a grousy mood right now. That, and being REALLY tired from travel lag. I even hate to subject an RA picture to this much negativity, so I’ll leave this post unadorned.
Hopefully, tomorrow will seem brighter with some sleep. Hopefully, it will be good news from the scans, and I’ll come back on Monday evening and say, “Never mind. It’s not bad at all.” Hopefully….